INTRO
This is an autobiographical chronology outlining my journey in gaining, and how it formed an integral part of my identity, molding the individual you interact with today. It’s a concise summary of my gaining journey marked by key moments. I've aimed to be as transparent as I can, adding depth and genuineness without compromising my personal anonymity. By recounting my experience, I aspire to motivate and resonate with those who might be traversing a similar path. Being authentic has granted me entry to a community that empathizes with and propels my journey forward, and I believe it can do the same for others. This chronology acts as a tangible representation of my growth, liberation and self-reconciliation, seen within and recognized by others. Accepting oneself, which contradicts societal expectations, can be an arduous task. Yet, overcoming this fear is undoubtedly rewarding, both as a gainer and a human being.
This is an autobiographical chronology outlining my journey in gaining, and how it formed an integral part of my identity, molding the individual you interact with today. It’s a concise summary of my gaining journey marked by key moments. I've aimed to be as transparent as I can, adding depth and genuineness without compromising my personal anonymity. By recounting my experience, I aspire to motivate and resonate with those who might be traversing a similar path. Being authentic has granted me entry to a community that empathizes with and propels my journey forward, and I believe it can do the same for others. This chronology acts as a tangible representation of my growth, liberation and self-reconciliation, seen within and recognized by others. Accepting oneself, which contradicts societal expectations, can be an arduous task. Yet, overcoming this fear is undoubtedly rewarding, both as a gainer and a human being.
PART 1
Most of my friends were still stuck with dial-up, but I was lucky enough to have a broadband connection. It was a new thing back then, and not many people had it.
Around four months before that, I had gotten my own computer. Well, I say "my own," but it was actually the family PC. In 2002, laptops, smartphones, and tablets weren't really a thing yet.
We had this huge metal box with a bulky monitor that had a big back sticking out. It was that classic beige colour that all Millennials would recognize.
Having that computer in my mom's dining room felt like having access to a whole new world. As a gay teenager growing up in a city that was struggling to recover from the effects of Thatcher's policies, life wasn't exactly easy. But with the internet, I could explore and discover things that I couldn't find in my own surroundings. Little did I know that this would be the start of my journey into the online world.
Back then, there wasn't much to do online. YouTube, Facebook, and Instagram didn't exist yet. Social media wasn't even a term that people used. We had a website called FaceParty, which was a mix of a messaging app and a profile platform. Looking back, it was probably not the safest place for a teenager to be, but it was all we had.
It was a place where you could share a bit too much with strangers who were probably much older than they claimed to be.
But hey, you know how it was.
Most of my friends were still stuck with dial-up, but I was lucky enough to have a broadband connection. It was a new thing back then, and not many people had it.
Around four months before that, I had gotten my own computer. Well, I say "my own," but it was actually the family PC. In 2002, laptops, smartphones, and tablets weren't really a thing yet.
We had this huge metal box with a bulky monitor that had a big back sticking out. It was that classic beige colour that all Millennials would recognize.
Having that computer in my mom's dining room felt like having access to a whole new world. As a gay teenager growing up in a city that was struggling to recover from the effects of Thatcher's policies, life wasn't exactly easy. But with the internet, I could explore and discover things that I couldn't find in my own surroundings. Little did I know that this would be the start of my journey into the online world.
Back then, there wasn't much to do online. YouTube, Facebook, and Instagram didn't exist yet. Social media wasn't even a term that people used. We had a website called FaceParty, which was a mix of a messaging app and a profile platform. Looking back, it was probably not the safest place for a teenager to be, but it was all we had.
It was a place where you could share a bit too much with strangers who were probably much older than they claimed to be.
But hey, you know how it was.
PART 2
In my teenage years, I found myself glued to the internet for hours on end, just like any other 14-year-old back then. As soon as I walked through the door after school, all the way until the weekends when I hung out with my buddies, my entire free time was dedicated to the online realm. Looking back now, it's pretty hilarious because I can't really recall much of what I actually did. Well, except for the usual stuff that most teenage boys do online - you know, the good old 'fap'. But at that age, I didn't really know what truly got me going. I would get all worked up over the hot popular dude in the grade above me at school, or even the 'Men of 200X' calendar. And let's not forget about the Argos or clothing catalogue, where loads of British lads would turn to the gym or underwear sections for some excitement. But it all felt so... ordinary.
For me, the internet was like a treasure trove. It was the place where everything started to click for me. I would scroll through countless pages of random pictures, getting lost in the never-ending rabbit holes of various websites. With one hand on my... well, you know, and the other on the mouse, I would ponder over the meaning of half the stuff I was looking at. I must have fallen into these rabbit holes multiple times a week.
But nothing ever really got me going until that one fateful day. I stumbled upon a Yahoo! Group that was all about teenagers and their cute little pot bellies. The group had pictures of these young lads with abs, and a few weeks later, they started sharing pictures of their intentionally grown little bellies.
In my teenage years, I found myself glued to the internet for hours on end, just like any other 14-year-old back then. As soon as I walked through the door after school, all the way until the weekends when I hung out with my buddies, my entire free time was dedicated to the online realm. Looking back now, it's pretty hilarious because I can't really recall much of what I actually did. Well, except for the usual stuff that most teenage boys do online - you know, the good old 'fap'. But at that age, I didn't really know what truly got me going. I would get all worked up over the hot popular dude in the grade above me at school, or even the 'Men of 200X' calendar. And let's not forget about the Argos or clothing catalogue, where loads of British lads would turn to the gym or underwear sections for some excitement. But it all felt so... ordinary.
For me, the internet was like a treasure trove. It was the place where everything started to click for me. I would scroll through countless pages of random pictures, getting lost in the never-ending rabbit holes of various websites. With one hand on my... well, you know, and the other on the mouse, I would ponder over the meaning of half the stuff I was looking at. I must have fallen into these rabbit holes multiple times a week.
But nothing ever really got me going until that one fateful day. I stumbled upon a Yahoo! Group that was all about teenagers and their cute little pot bellies. The group had pictures of these young lads with abs, and a few weeks later, they started sharing pictures of their intentionally grown little bellies.
PART 2 Cont.
That was it. I was captivated. I couldn't quite put my finger on what exactly intrigued me, but I knew I craved more.
In my search for knowledge about gaining, I embarked on a quest that led me to a fascinating community of gay male gainers. These individuals are passionate about the art of gaining weight. While some engage in workouts, most indulge in pig outs and excessive overeating and consume gainer shakes to achieve their desired size. What captivated me the most were those who aimed for a more muscular physique, characterized by a prominent round ball or muscle belly. These became my personal favourites as I delved deeper into this world. However, not all gainers strive for a ball belly appearance. Some aspire to become softer or just big. Additionally, there are those who simply appreciate the impressive physiques of these men, whether they possess starter bellies or well-established ones. And then there are the feeders, individuals who derive pleasure from feeding a gainer and aiding in their growth. Which group did i fit in i came to ask myself.
That was it. I was captivated. I couldn't quite put my finger on what exactly intrigued me, but I knew I craved more.
In my search for knowledge about gaining, I embarked on a quest that led me to a fascinating community of gay male gainers. These individuals are passionate about the art of gaining weight. While some engage in workouts, most indulge in pig outs and excessive overeating and consume gainer shakes to achieve their desired size. What captivated me the most were those who aimed for a more muscular physique, characterized by a prominent round ball or muscle belly. These became my personal favourites as I delved deeper into this world. However, not all gainers strive for a ball belly appearance. Some aspire to become softer or just big. Additionally, there are those who simply appreciate the impressive physiques of these men, whether they possess starter bellies or well-established ones. And then there are the feeders, individuals who derive pleasure from feeding a gainer and aiding in their growth. Which group did i fit in i came to ask myself.
PART 3: aDVICE +
If I were to offer advice to any young aspiring gainer, it would be this: gaining weight requires consistency, change, and a surplus of calories. It's important to understand that you won't reach your goal of 350lbs by indulging in a massive feast once a week. Instead, it takes a complete lifestyle and mental shift, completely altering the way you think about food and its significance in your life.
For a few years, I continued with my nightly bloat, all while getting to know a few individuals from the gainer community who were around my age. Then, at the age of 16, I began arranging meet-ups with other guys who shared the same passion for eating. I vividly remember my first encounter with another gainer. He picked me up and we drove to the local McDonald's Drive Thru. I was incredibly nervous, unsure of what to expect. However, once we started eating, my nerves seemed to block the signals in my brain. I kept eating and eating, and the feeling of fullness didn't hit me until much later. When I finally got out of the car a few hours later, I felt incredibly stuffed. Even now, twenty years later, I have never experienced that level of fullness again. In conclusion, gaining weight is not a simple task that can be achieved through occasional indulgence. It requires dedication, consistency, and a complete shift in mindset.
My personal journey involved meeting others who shared the same passion, and my first experience with another gainer left a lasting impression on me. It's important to understand that the feeling of fullness may not hit you immediately, especially when nerves are involved. So, if you're truly committed to your goal, be prepared for a complete lifestyle change and a new way of thinking about food.
If I were to offer advice to any young aspiring gainer, it would be this: gaining weight requires consistency, change, and a surplus of calories. It's important to understand that you won't reach your goal of 350lbs by indulging in a massive feast once a week. Instead, it takes a complete lifestyle and mental shift, completely altering the way you think about food and its significance in your life.
For a few years, I continued with my nightly bloat, all while getting to know a few individuals from the gainer community who were around my age. Then, at the age of 16, I began arranging meet-ups with other guys who shared the same passion for eating. I vividly remember my first encounter with another gainer. He picked me up and we drove to the local McDonald's Drive Thru. I was incredibly nervous, unsure of what to expect. However, once we started eating, my nerves seemed to block the signals in my brain. I kept eating and eating, and the feeling of fullness didn't hit me until much later. When I finally got out of the car a few hours later, I felt incredibly stuffed. Even now, twenty years later, I have never experienced that level of fullness again. In conclusion, gaining weight is not a simple task that can be achieved through occasional indulgence. It requires dedication, consistency, and a complete shift in mindset.
My personal journey involved meeting others who shared the same passion, and my first experience with another gainer left a lasting impression on me. It's important to understand that the feeling of fullness may not hit you immediately, especially when nerves are involved. So, if you're truly committed to your goal, be prepared for a complete lifestyle change and a new way of thinking about food.
PART 4
There were other reasons I didn’t gain when I was younger besides the non-gainer aspects, which I will explain, my metabolism was insanely fast as it is when you’re a teenager, the thoughts of how my friends and family would judge me for getting fat, played a major part in my decisions about gaining. I used to have this terrified deep-down fear someone would find out I wanted to get a belly. It was crippling how scared I was someone would find out and my life would be over. Now I see how stupid of me to have such a fear, if anything, no one gives a hoot about what you want to do, maybe the rare mention of health from friends or family but nothing like what I imagined the backlash to be, most people are positive (up to a certain size) about your weight gain. But the fear at the time was so much it stopped me from ever pursuing the gains seriously until I got to 25!
Something that would have a major impact on me as a teenager into my 20s in attempting to accept that I was a gainer and understand this new 'fetish' as I used to call it and in me realising it was becoming a major part of who I am mentally and physically. However, as time went on and I started to explore this community more and more, I found myself drawn in by the idea of growing a big, round belly and over the years have come to accept and embrace this part of me as a lifestyle and sexuality, not a fetish.
There were other reasons I didn’t gain when I was younger besides the non-gainer aspects, which I will explain, my metabolism was insanely fast as it is when you’re a teenager, the thoughts of how my friends and family would judge me for getting fat, played a major part in my decisions about gaining. I used to have this terrified deep-down fear someone would find out I wanted to get a belly. It was crippling how scared I was someone would find out and my life would be over. Now I see how stupid of me to have such a fear, if anything, no one gives a hoot about what you want to do, maybe the rare mention of health from friends or family but nothing like what I imagined the backlash to be, most people are positive (up to a certain size) about your weight gain. But the fear at the time was so much it stopped me from ever pursuing the gains seriously until I got to 25!
Something that would have a major impact on me as a teenager into my 20s in attempting to accept that I was a gainer and understand this new 'fetish' as I used to call it and in me realising it was becoming a major part of who I am mentally and physically. However, as time went on and I started to explore this community more and more, I found myself drawn in by the idea of growing a big, round belly and over the years have come to accept and embrace this part of me as a lifestyle and sexuality, not a fetish.
PART 4: FREAK OUTS
I started out as a slim, toned teenager, with a deep desire to gain and grow a huge ball gut. The more I tried the more I seemed to fail with it, so at 19 I partially gave up on the dream …I stayed in the background of the community just keeping in touch with a small few people. Then at 25, I had a huge urge to grow again! But as I started to experiment with weight gain again, I went from a slim-toned toned slightly muscled twink at 160 to a pot-bellied lad at 199lbs pretty fast - then freaked out! My body began to change. I remember feeling self-conscious at first as I started to put on more weight!
I started out as a slim, toned teenager, with a deep desire to gain and grow a huge ball gut. The more I tried the more I seemed to fail with it, so at 19 I partially gave up on the dream …I stayed in the background of the community just keeping in touch with a small few people. Then at 25, I had a huge urge to grow again! But as I started to experiment with weight gain again, I went from a slim-toned toned slightly muscled twink at 160 to a pot-bellied lad at 199lbs pretty fast - then freaked out! My body began to change. I remember feeling self-conscious at first as I started to put on more weight!
This was the case for the next 2-3 years, up and down in weight going from toned six-pack to pot belly back and forth over and over it seemed, always packing on as much as I could as fast as I could until my head freaked out again. But the more I embraced my growing belly, the more confident and prouder I became. One of the great things that happened during the time from 25 to 28 was me being more open with my friends about the desire to be bigger and discussing the gaining scene, the kink, and the lifestyle and it gave me much more confidence in myself about the fact that these major fears I had in my head of not being accepted or being labelled a freak and many other ones alongside those two were actually unfounded and just a throwback to my teens when everything seemed like it was wrong if it wasn't mainstream.
Chapter 3
PART 5: NEW OUTLOOK
In the middle of 2019, as I entered my thirties, I made a conscious decision to break free from my boring cruising along back on the outskirts of the GFA scene again and embark on a new challenge. It was time to push myself beyond my comfort zone and strive for personal growth. However, this time around, something was different. My mindset underwent a complete transformation, fuelling my determination to succeed, I was ready to take on the world of real gainer-lifestyle.
With this newfound determination, I started my journey, taking small steps towards my goal. Building up capacity, increasing my caloric intake daily. During the initial month, I gradually put on a few pounds, Seeing the scale go up daily was a huge motivator to continue doing more of what I was doing with increasing my calories daily, I was like a machine with it,. I would eat junk, anything with calories that outweighed it size. I found all sorts of different ways of maximising the room in my belly vs the calories foods contained. It motivated me to push harder. And soon enough, I found myself picking up the pace, surpassing my own expectations.
The feeling of gaining was exhilarating, like a surge of energy propelling me forward. It's truly remarkable how quickly you can witness changes when you're fully committed. In just five days, from Monday to Saturday, I experienced a significant transformation. The numbers on the scale skyrocketed, and I effortlessly packed on 10-15+ pounds. The rapid progress was thrilling, and it felt like a testament to my dedication and hard work.
In the middle of 2019, as I entered my thirties, I made a conscious decision to break free from my boring cruising along back on the outskirts of the GFA scene again and embark on a new challenge. It was time to push myself beyond my comfort zone and strive for personal growth. However, this time around, something was different. My mindset underwent a complete transformation, fuelling my determination to succeed, I was ready to take on the world of real gainer-lifestyle.
With this newfound determination, I started my journey, taking small steps towards my goal. Building up capacity, increasing my caloric intake daily. During the initial month, I gradually put on a few pounds, Seeing the scale go up daily was a huge motivator to continue doing more of what I was doing with increasing my calories daily, I was like a machine with it,. I would eat junk, anything with calories that outweighed it size. I found all sorts of different ways of maximising the room in my belly vs the calories foods contained. It motivated me to push harder. And soon enough, I found myself picking up the pace, surpassing my own expectations.
The feeling of gaining was exhilarating, like a surge of energy propelling me forward. It's truly remarkable how quickly you can witness changes when you're fully committed. In just five days, from Monday to Saturday, I experienced a significant transformation. The numbers on the scale skyrocketed, and I effortlessly packed on 10-15+ pounds. The rapid progress was thrilling, and it felt like a testament to my dedication and hard work.
PART 5: CONT.
The best part was seeing the reactions of those who hadn't seen me in that short span of time. Their astonishment was priceless, as they struggled to comprehend the physical changes that had taken place. It was amusing to witness their bewildered expressions, as if asking, "What on earth happened to you in less than a week?!"
This journey of transforming my physique has become an intriguing adventure. It's astonishing to witness how the human body can adapt and change when pushed beyond its limits. What started as slow progress gradually transformed into a rapid growth, and I found myself embracing the challenge daily or more! More! MORE! The joy of witnessing the physical changes and surprising others with my transformation is truly gratifying. The look of disbelief on their faces when they see the significant difference in my body within such a short span of time is both amusing and motivating.
This experience has taught me the power of determination and the incredible potential we possess to reshape ourselves. It's a constant reminder that with the right mindset and unwavering commitment, we can achieve remarkable things.